I’ve been sitting here since yesterday, trying to process all these feelings of grief over the passing of Paul Walker. Even though I never met him, I liked and respected him as an actor, and as a humanitarian. I first saw him, much like everyone else, in his breakout role in The Fast and The Furious and was completely taken at this good looking young man with the bright blue eyes and the winning smile. He was lovely, in my opinion, and when he went on to star in the Fast and Furious franchise, I followed along for the ride, loving each movie that came out (except Tokyo Drift and not just because he wasn’t in it).
I watched him in Eight Below, which made me cry. A lot.
And I followed his website for Reach Out World Wide and read all the great things they were doing.
So yesterday, when I first saw the Deadline article announcing his passing, it hit me like a ton of bricks. Surely this was hoax. Surely someone with a sick sense of humor is just trying to be funny. I mean I’ve read quite a few of these kind of hoaxes over the last few months and within a few hours they’ve been debunked as being false. And so I checked, and refreshed, and waited for someone to tell me it wasn’t true.
But with each update, more details came out and more confirmations were posted. And a piece of my heart broke.
I’ll say again that I never met him. I often wish I had. I mean, he was on my list of top five actors I have a crush on, which is slightly awkward given that I’m by no means a high school student and should be above such sentiments. But I’m human, what can I say. Maybe it was that smile. Or the deep ocean blue of his eyes. Or maybe it’s because I’d read so many stories of what a gosh-darn-it lovely person he was. I can’t say for sure if it was just one thing, or a multitude of things, but I did like him. And I loved his movies. Heck I even wished him a happy birthday via twitter this year:
A blog post by Hello Giggles says it best:
I am certain not everyone will agree with this sentiment, but I have always had a theory about human beings. The way that other human beings take to a person is indicative of the kind of person that man was. From a fan’s perspective, losing an actor/producer/director/musician is hard, but upon hearing from their coworkers and friends, the fans can truly detect what kind of a person he or she was.
Hearing the outpour of emotion from the people who knew Walker has been hard, and sad, and reassuring.
So today I grieve, and I try to navigate these complicated emotions which are a reflection of the footprints his life has left within my heart. And I pray too for his family and friends who love and miss him more than I can even imagine.
So rest in peace, Paul Walker. You will be missed.