Dear Email Sender,

I feel I should reply to your passionate and creative emails which have outlined the dire situation in your country in particular the corrupt officials whom you tangle with so regularly. I’m so sorry that your circumstances are such that you need to reach out to someone like me for help. While I cannot help you, and am prevented from explaining fully why this is the case, I can, however, offer you the following advice that might better help you seek out someone more able to offer you assistance.

1: Spelling and grammar. While nobody is truly perfect at this, and with the advancement of the technological age and the lack of an ‘undo’ button in social media, it is indeed hard to be absolutely flawless in your creative musings. However, being somewhat conversant in the basic rules of grammar and punctuation will likely help rather than hinder your endeavors.

What you wrote and why a good spell-check won’t hurt:

Your particulars was mentioned by one of the Syndicates who wasarrested as one of their victims of the operations, you are hereby warned not to communicate orduplicate this message to him for any reason what so ever as the U.S. secret service is already on trace of the other criminals. So keep it secret till they are all apprehended.

2: Only use caps locks when it is a DIRE EMERGENCY and you want to get my attention. Anywhere else just makes my eyes bleed.

Ineffective use of caps lock:

ATTENTION:
I am BRIGADIER GENERAL JOSEPH DONKOR, the Chief of General Staff, GHANA. I
am mailing you in respect, of the present development going on here in my
country GHANA.

3: Plausible scenarios are more likely to be believed by those partial to a good sob story. Don’t get me wrong, we all want to help, but sometimes it’s hard to believe the things you write because they go against the protocols most normal people have in place. Having said that, if we thought for one moment that the things in your email were true, I will endeavor to correct the situation as soon as it is possible to do so. You have my word.

Did this really happen?:

I decided to contact you, after much investigation which was carried out
by the Bureau of National Investigation (BNI) and the Ghana Police
Service, to make sure our country is free of these fraudulent activities,
which is going on here in Africa and for our country to bear a good name.
The Airport Authority detected trunk boxes after been scanned the
authorities detected that the boxes contains funds on your name and email
that has been tempered on, were been smuggled into the country by foreign
Personnel who were on transit from London.

4: Assuming we are all greedy makes the skeptical among us question the validity of your claims. And knowing that there are corrupt officials everywhere who would need a handout in order to allow passage of the monies means that the end amount will never be the full amount you promised here.

Example:

According to the number of applicants at hand, 114 Beneficiaries has been paid, half of the victims are from the United States, we still have more 36 left to be paid the compensations of $1,000,000.00 each.

5: Be sure you are who you say you are. A quick google of almost any name will bring up pages of information, including previous correspondence you sent to other citizens of this fair country. While I can understand a lapse in security on one occasion resulting in boxes being seized and you needing to email someone about it, 2,750 such occasions does seem a bit much. Perhaps you need to talk to someone in your own country about airport security. It does appear to be rather lacking.

I trust this information is helpful to you and I wish you the best of health.

Sincerely,

Annie

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